Poor, tiny Bryan Dick. When he was a wee lad, all he wanted was to be
a werewolf. So when he won the role of Rafe in this remake of Annette Curtis Klause's novel, he thought he'd get the full
An American Werewolf In London treatment. Instead, he leaped in the air and was suddenly replaced by a real
wolf. Sadly, this sets the tone for the whole film: a cracking premise ruined by a clunky script and a series of anti-climaxes.
In the film, Vivian (Agnes Bruckner) is living in Romania with her aunt after her
parents were murdered. Whereas Vivian is reserved and distant, her cousin Rafe (Bryan Dick) is wild, leery and awesome. Oh,
and they're werewolves. Gabriel (Olivier Martinez), Rafe's father and leader of the pack (sadly, this doesn't make Kylie Bryan's
mum, which would have been AMAZING) wants to take Vivian as a mate, but she has fallen for human Aidan (Hugh Dancy), who is
researching werewolf culture for a graphic novel. When Aidan finds out about the pack, he's seen as a threat, an asked to
leave town by Rafe, but when Aidan kills one of their own, Vivian must choose between her true love and her true nature. Just
so you know, this isn't the plotline of the book. That's better.
There shouldn't be high expectations for any horror film that's rated 12. Especially
one by the producers of Underworld. I'll admit, in a moment of shallow stupidity, I only bought this for
the Bryan Dick factor. The script is clunky and embarrassing. Agnes Bruckner is a competent lead, all purposeful striding
and mysterious monologues, but she's nothing new or interesting. Olivier Martinez is very wooden in his role, which is reduced
from the complexity of the book to "Hey, let's go kill some people!" Hugh Dancy presents a likable but dull Aidan. He's sweet
and pretty, and one of the stronger points of the film. I liked him until I saw what he did to Rafe, anyway.
Again, poor Bryan Dick. Despite Rafe being the best character and him being the best
actor, he gets the worst lines, and the film only picks up when he dies. Rafe's death, with him being Gabriel's heir, is the
catalyst for the hunt for Aidan. He can rest safe though, because the whole hunt ends in a bit of an anti-climax.
But the atrocious script strikes most prominently for Rafe. Particularly grating is when he calls Vivian "Cousin". Who honestly
refers to their cousins as "Cousin" rather than their names? I preferred it when he called her "sweetcheeks". They also give
him David Bowie eyes. It's terrifying.
Just to hammer the final nail into the coffin of what could have been an excellent
film, one scene plays Cash Machine by Hard-Fi. As well as being entirely inappropriate for the scene,
Hard-Fi are one of the most godawful bands I've ever heard.
I can't tell you what happened at the end, as there was fire and I'm pyrophobic.
Also, Rafe was dead, so I lost interest. It was probably rubbish.
Blood & Chocolate had a lot of potential as a film. With the exception of Martinez,
the cast were capable of pulling off a good but forgettable horror film. But they were let down by an incompetent script and
the cult success of the novel. Read that instead, unless you want to stare at a certain tiny British actor. Poor Bryan Dick
indeed.
