TELEGRAPH - DRAKE BELL

Still, it's a kids show, featuring former stars of The Amanda Show. The pretty one, Drake Bell, has gone and released an album. He's a child star. Making music. Will he do a Miley Cyrus and annoy the fuck out of us, while making the world remember the pain of her dad's music?

No, because unlike that squealing bitch, Bell's music isn't a publicity stunt. He records independently, he writes all his own music, and he has the added bonus of being very good and very pretty.

Telegraph takes all the best elements of Bell's musical heroes, from The Beatles to The Blues Brothers, combines them with a poppy chirpyness and a distinctly un-whiny vocal to make an album full of catchy, sing-along tunes.

Okay, so he opens with I Found A Way, the theme tune to his show. That can get annoying depending on how many times you've watched the show. But look past that, because the next track is Circles; a song so cheery even Gordon Brown would crack a smile. By contrast, the next track, Somehow, is a proper dark story of an abused woman. It's one of those songs that on first listen, you think he's trying to be deep to get rid of his reputation, but then you realise the song is actually amazing and powerful, and that you were a fool all along. McFly do that to me a lot. Somehow is brilliant in that way, and had me scouring the internet for the chords after just three listens. Plus, it ends in a brilliantly unexpected piano solo.

It's a shame though, that most of the highlights come towards the start of the album. Every track is good, but few quite as good as Circles and Somehow. Hollywood Girl is lovely and fun, and Highway To Nowhere would have been nice and summery, if I hadn't had the misfortune of seeing Bell perform it on Zoey 101 while babysitting. The song will now be forever tarnished by the memory of The Pregnant Spears Child.

Luckily for us, there's still Don't Preach. I mainly like this because Drake tries to sound rock. He's quite convincing, his growl is decent enough. But by this point, I'm also youtubing the show and am too busy giggling at Drake and Josh's hilarious Ninja Ping-Pong battle. Watch it, it's brilliant.

I first heard Down We Fall on the show, and thought it was wonderful. Then Josh Peck's fantastically funny rendition in the credits made it better. I wasn't prepared for the album version. It manages to evoke the spirit of George Harrison's work for The Beatles (and we all know George was the best Beatle) without sounding like an inferior copy. And that's because he doesn't attempt to copy. Bell's greatest asset is his ability to take influences and weave them into something unique to him, unlike, say, Razorlight. Fuck you, Borrell, a Nickelodeon star is a better songwriter than you are. Go catch some sparks flying off some girl's heels.

The album's closer, and title track, is Telegraph, a pleasant, introspective end to one of the most unexpectedly brilliant albums I've heard. Okay, it's not the best album I've heard by a long shot, but it's definitely the most impressive, given the low expectations I went into it with. Why can't Jamie Lynn Spears et al be more like Drake Bell? Probably because they are materialistic brats in it for the money. The thing you get with Bell, in both his music, and his character on Drake & Josh, is passion.